Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Wonderful working time

I was told that all colleagues from my first company know the news that I'm leaving for Boston for Ph.D. study. I was shocked by the speed of spreading such an unimportant news. People really like gossips, even about some small people.

How small this industry is! Indeed, I would meet my old colleagues in many compnies of this industry, though I stayed in my first company for only one year. I really enjoy the actuarial job. it's quite challengeable and interesting. And lucky me, I always meet good bosses and nice colleagues. To me, there is no pressure at all in my work. I feel it's a pitty that I decide to get out of this industry. No matter what, I've got wonderful working time.

Thanks to God for giving me the opportunities of meeting those nice people. I'm very satisfied with and happy about what I've had so far. It's really wonderful!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Start preparation

I finally can start preparing for my forthcoming study. When I look for the textbooks, I find out that mathematics plays a very important role in economics study. More precisely, we need mathematics to interpret the economic phenomenons. Economy looks like a mathematic game. It keeps creating new problems with the growth of population and the development of technology. Once we can find a mathematic method, we can at least "control" the problems. Indeed, "control", but not "solve".

To me, economics is also similar to psycology. We need to know how people think and behave in the economic world, so that we can, again, "control" the problems.

I feel economics is much more interesting than mathematics. Mathematics is the same everywhere in the world, but economics can have various explanations in different places. It's about our living. And it depends on people, cultures, governments, international community, etc.

Yes, I just start to prepare for my forthcoming study. But I'm already in love with economics.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

A dream

After I came back from the Netherlands, I have totally different feeling about people in Taiwan. When I see babies and children, I hope they can live happily without any hurt or pain. I hope all of them can grow up in a beautiful place like a wonderland. When I see the seniors, I hope they can also live happily with no worry. I hope they have no regret for living in Taiwan for all of their lives. When I see couples, I hope they can love Taiwan as much as they love each other. I hope they can live happily together forever in Taiwan. When I see the young, I hope they can find their dreams in Taiwan. I hope they keep a hope for Taiwan's future as well as their own futures.

That's the main reason why I choose to study Ph.D in USA. I hope I can do something for Taiwan, and for everyone who lives here. You may not believe how much I love my country. But I do feel blessed to live and grow up here.

It's a dream, a responsibility. and an obligation. Taiwan may not be changed because of me. But I can't live without Taiwan. I make the bet on my life, and my life is dedicated to my beloved country, Taiwan!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Happy Birthday to Grandpa!

Today (Tuesday, 19 July) is my grandpa's 95th birthday anniversary. We bought two cakes to celebrate it. Many grandsons and granddaughters were there. Grandpa looked very happy. What else can make people happier than being together with family?

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Student's visa - F1

After yesterday's interview, I received my passport with the F-1 visa tonight. The next job for me is to make a loan from the bank. I already asked the bank, and it's confirmed that I'm qualified to apply for the government's loan.

I talked to my colleague about my difficult decision today. He can understand how hard it must be to make the decisionat my situation. I hope I can choose a simple life. However, I feel that something in my heart is pushing me to take the more challengeable choice. I must be crazy. How can I give up such a good working opportunity and decide to take a risk in my future? What if I can't survive for the next, at least, four years? Moreover, what if I can't achieve my goal after my Ph.D. study? I don't want to just be a professor teaching in the university. I hope I can do something for my country. That's my ultimate goal of my life - to make my people happily live in Taiwan.

Yes, I must be crazy. I give the bet on my life. And after one year, everything in my life will be clear.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Busy life

I finally feel that studying is indeed much more difficult than working, especially you have the worst teachers in the world! I'm working on my final report for my master degreee. I hope to finalize it within this week so that I can start talking with those bastards in the poor school in the Netherlands.

I've met the worst people in the worst country. I really hope I don't have to visit that disgusting country again in my life.

If I can't graduate in time, I will not be able to pursue my Ph.D. study at Boston. God, please help me pass through such a difficult time. Why must I suffer those tortures from those shameless people?

Getting more and more depressed and nervous everyday......

Friday, July 08, 2005


I finally talked to my boss about my future plan on Wednesday. He was a little but surprised and thought it was because I felt bored about my work. I told him I enjoy this job very much. The colleagues are all very friendly, and my boss is particularly kind and nice. I am really very lucky to meet those friends in my life.

But life is full of opportunities. Sometimes it is not possible to take all of them. Although I've already decided to study abroad again, my heart still hesitates a lot. I think I must be crazy to choose a life in uncertainty. It's like a big gamble. The award will be as great as the loss. It's indeed full of risks.

So, I will finish my job by the end of this month. During this short period of 4 months, I have the best and happiest working experience in my life. Yes, I'm leaving. But the memory will always exist in my heart.